Perfect Peace

Its so hard to find the right words at times. Sometimes, everything seems so confusing, my feelings are perplexing.

Emotions buried deep within, fighting to surface. All week I have struggled to force them down–frustration, disappointment, fear. Each day has brought its own worries. My heart has ached. I tried to be strong, to work even harder. Each day I thought I couldn’t take any more.

Then today.

After an exhausting and discouraging orchestra rehearsal last night, I didn’t sleep well. Getting a late and rough start to my day, I plunged into drafting an essay, drinking tea to keep my eyes open. The day progressed and I felt strangely quiet–a lonely, discouraged kind of quiet.

All week I had been working so hard. But I kept falling farther behind. My Worldviews reading was piling up. Violin required more and more of my effort. At the end of the day, I had nothing to give to writing. My outline lies on my desk, untouched. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t tell the difference. It didn’t seem worth it.

As I sat at the computer, waiting for my Advanced Composition class to start, my Skype window beeped as my best friend logged in. I chatted her and asked for a virtual hug. During our brief chat, my spirits were suddenly lifted. I laughed, out loud, genuinely. The laughter soothed my hurting heart.

After class, I turned on music playlists on youtube and returned to my Worldviews reading. Then, a gentle song came on. I stopped reading and listened to the comforting words. It took me a minute to realize that the words were written almost like a verse of Scripture, God speaking to a hurting child. And they resonated with my heart.

“Stay close by My side,
Keep your eyes on Me, 
Though this life is hard,
I will give you perfect peace,

“In this time of trial,
Pain that no one sees,
Trust me when I say,
I will give you perfect peace,

“And you’ll never walk alone,
And you’ll never be in need,
Though I may not calm the storms around you, 
You can hide in Me,

“Burdens that you bear,
Offer no relief, 
Let Me bear your load,
Cause I will give you perfect peace,

“Stay close by My side,
And you’ll never walk alone, 
Keep your eyes on Me, 
And you will never be in need, 
Though this life is hard, 
Know that I will always give you perfect peace,
I will give you perfect peace…”

A few moments ago, I ended a chat with another friend, a dear online friend who I’ve only met once in person. I had forgotten how comforting a friend’s sympathy and support can be.

I sit in a dark and silent house, spilling my heart into words. Recently I have felt an ever present dull ache, the emotions welling up in me.

But tonight is different. I have been reminded to keep my eyes on my Savior. He might not “calm the storms” in my life. He might leave me with burdens to bear. But I will never have to walk alone. He will never leave me.

Tonight, I truly do feel perfect peace.




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